new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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