You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
