I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
why do cheetos always look like penises
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
