You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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