Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We need a shit load of segways right now
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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