It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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