All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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