i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
