The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
