I'm gonna have a badass scar
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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