She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
They have beer where we have blood.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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