i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
