Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Green mimosas i think yes
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Randomize
