Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
