So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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