I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
