he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
