he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
