I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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