my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
