sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
