Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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