Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize