My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm really into asian looking animals
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
