so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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