Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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