tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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