Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
