$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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