IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
