i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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