she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
