My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
