ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
