Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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