I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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