I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize