guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
