am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
