hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
