i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
