wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
