I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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