So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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