Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
