Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
How's work?
Spinning.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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