She is in my trunk
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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