That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
