She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize