I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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