Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Never underestimate the power of titties
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
