I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
