NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
