Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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