yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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