for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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