Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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